2007/06/17
The hotel is not a proper hotel, I can't get food, I can't get Vodka, there is no air conditioning, there's nobody else here. But apart from that it's been a good Sunday so far...
I get to the airport early (thanks Dan!) and seek out the currency shop to get some Euros. After 15 minutes of trying to get the credit card to work, I find that PayPal want me to phone them to allow the transaction. But alas, I have no idea what number to call. So I try the other card - it needs a PIN and I have no idea what it is. After finally getting some Euros using my Maestro card, I head off to the departure lounge and board the plane.
The only available flight (direct and not extortionately priced that is) took left Manchester at 18:15. I should have known it was going to turn in to one of "those days" when I asked for Vodka on the plane and got a blank "we're German, we only do beer, soft drinks and spiced sausages" look from the hostess. So beer it was. I'm not a huge fan of beer. In fact, beer isn't a huge fan of me. But at least it was free which went some way to make up for the in-flight meal.
Now, I normally fly BA, BMI, Monarch, even VLM. They all have the same definition of "meal" as I do - you know, it's a plate filled with stuff and it actually stops you craving food for a while.
But no, not Lufthansa. They gave me what I can only describe as a cross between a "hot cross bun", a bagel and a cheese butty. It was tasty, but not filling in the least. For desert they provided a minature Bounty bar - the sort of thing where you buy a bag of 100 for nibbles at a picnic or party. I don't like coconut but at least it was a more pleasant taste than the beer. Like the "hot-bagel-cheese" thing I had before it, it didn't even come close to being filling.
So, we landed on time - a good flight in all (ie. the wings didn't fall off and we didn't all die in screaming agony). Now to find the baggage... 20 minutes (or that's what it felt like) walk later and the passengers concurrently find the carousel. Then we wait, and wait, and wait. I stare at my watch and notice that it's "5 past the hotel restraunt closing there goes your last hope of avoiding starvation" o'clock. *sigh*
Eventually, having already removed any slight hope of getting a decent meal, the carousel finally spins in to action and luggage starts being literly flung on to it. But no, I'm calm. Luckily I took the laptop as hand luggage and my other luggage just has my suit and some toiletries. Everything's fine. I'm sure worse things happen at sea.
Now to find a taxi to get me to the "hotel". I'm in luck, there's hundreds of them all lined up outside the hotel. But one by one, they start their engines and drive off, without passengers. I've obviously not got big enough "man-boobs" ("moobs" as the wife calls them) or something because they don't seem to spot me flaying my arms like a crazy chimp trying to get their attention.
Eventually one stops. Yay! I get in, he speaks some Engrish and we set off. Several near-death experiences and two diversions "because someone's put a barricade across the road" later, we finally find the "hotel".
It's dark, the lights are out, nobody appears to be home. But, as if my magic, suddenly the place springs in to life (one German bloke who speaks absolutely no Engrish) upon me shouting "Hellooooooo!!!!!" at the top of my voice for several seconds.
If you've ever seen the animated movie "Madagascar", picture the sign-language, beer drinking chimps. That's me and this receptionist trying to communicate with each other. After several minutes of us both pointing at pieces of paper, shoulder shrugging, forehead slapping and saying words MUCH LOUDER THAN NORMAL IN THE HOPE WE WOULD UN-DER-STAND EACH OTHER, we finally deduced that I was in the right hotel.
I then get a peice of paper telling me that everyone else has gone out to get food and drinks several hours earlier. I phone the number on the paper and it doesn't work because my pay-as-you-go mobile knows I'm in Germany but won't let me make local calls. So I get the international code and try that, but because I'm alrady in Germany, it won't let me use it because I should make a local call instead. Joy. I try another mobile number I have for a contact over here, no answer. The food and drink wherever they are is obviously superior to anything I've had today.
So, I resort to the internationally understood "Beer" (there being no Vodka or any other spirits in this entire country it seems) and retreat to my room with a tiny, yet supprisingly expensive, bottle of, er, larger I think?
First things first, I have a shower. I notice two types of extreme pain - first, a sharp pain on my ankle, I have a blister (definately a 20 min hike to the carousel!). Second, a scorching sensation as the water coming out of the shower has turned in to steam.
But no, it doesn't end there. I work out the plan for tomorrow and have a nasty shock. I have to check out of the "room" (read: "box with a light and bed") at 09:30. But I can't do that as the CUG will already be started at that time, so I'll have to check out before 09:00. That means if I'm to get breakfast, I'll have to be first in the queue at the "restraunt" at 07:00. Now wait, that's not "7 o'clock", that's the other 7:00, the one that happens in that mysterious part of the day called "morning". As if that's not bad enough, it means I'll have to be awake for something like 06:00 (about 5 hours from now).
So, I'll need one of those "wake up" call things if I'm to have any chance of making breakfast, packing my luggage, checking out and getting to the CUG on time. Then I remember the beer-drinking sign-language chimps scene from Madagascar. How on earth do I arrange a "wake up" call using only the word "Beer"? I think I'll just leave the curtains open and hope daylight happens early over here...
Maybe that's why they call this town "Bad Homburg"... I have to sleep now...
2007/06/18
All systems are go!
After a somewhat terrible nights' sleep (small bed, small duvet, no aircon, empty stomach aside from some larger) in which I woke up roughly once an hour to check for daylight, things are starting to look better.
Breakfast was qiute possibly the best breakfast I've ever had in mainland Europe!
Stomach online, brain online, laptop online. We're ready to rumble. Let the CUG begin!
